Saturday, April 7, 2012

What I wish I would have known...

Today my sister and her husband officially announced that they are expecting their first baby- due in October, and I cannot be more excited for them. It's got me reflecting on our first few days and months with Keegan. There are a number of things that I wish I would have known before having my first baby. I know things are different for everyone, but for me, there are a couple of things that I have definitely learned from that I will change for my next baby…

1.) Enjoy the few weeks where just you and your spouse know you’re expecting. I didn’t give myself that time. I wish I would have. What a personal, exciting thing. How fun to have a secret that only you and your spouse know for just a little bit. Plus, the moment everyone knows you’ll suddenly be looked at in a different light: suddenly fragile- beyond what’s necessary sometimes, too.

2.) It’s okay to say NO. Having a baby is a perfectly good reason to not be social for a while. I thought it was silly to use it as an excuse, so right from the get go we were always dragging Keegan out and about and driving an hour one way and hopping from place to place- either that, or our house was filled with guests. Having a baby is a completely adequate excuse to not do things. I wish I would have said “no” a lot more when Keegan was very little. We would load too much on our plate because we felt obligated- but WE were the ones up all night with a super angry, over stimulated baby. My job as a mom was to protect my son- and over stimulating him was NOT protecting him.

3.) Just cancel cable before you get home from the hospital. Let’s face it. We all watched a lot more T.V. before we had babies. If you don’t have a baby yet- just trust me. You don’t have time. When the baby’s sleeping, you just want to sleep. After 4 months of paying for the big cable package- yet spending most of the night either sleeping, or watching Keegan play on the video monitor, we realized that we were paying that much money in vain. We cancelled it last summer- and we have not even missed it once! Plus, despite how little Keegan is still, I’m weird about not having trashy things on with him around… Cutting out E! and VH1 will make the world of difference when trying to limit trashy T.V.! Ha!

4.) Nursing is ten times harder than any other part of pregnancy and or delivery. Seriously. So painful, frustrating and exhausting. And it won’t always go according to plan. My production was down, so I was hardly nursing. We switched to formula much sooner than I would have liked and I quietly blame myself for why Keegan gets so sick so frequently. But, everyone’s journey is different. I think if I would have known how hard it was really going to be, I may have handled it a little better.

5.) Okay. TMI Alert: You will not poop for at least a week following delivery. HAHA! But so true. That’s one of those things that no one tells you but I haven’t met a soul after the fact that denied it happening to them. UGH. Seriously. Am I secretly writing this so that I will never have another baby again?!?!

6.) Start caring for your skin and using the anti-aging stuff BEFORE the baby arrives. We were so tired, but that exhaustion in conjunction with the lack of care I was showing my skin took its toll. Not only did I look tired, but I started looking much older- not quite like the radiant new mom I imagined... But a few months of consistent face washing, regenerating serum and SPF day cream plus anti-aging night cream (plus Keegan has slept through the night for a while now :) has started erasing the wrinkles that showed up those first few months.

Despite what sounds like some negative things- I look back on them as the sweetest times. Yes, I was exhausted. Yes, I was heartbroken the first time I left him at daycare. Yes, I get sad when I see how much he’s grown. But nothing’s better than when he crawls across the room and stands up, holding onto my shoulders and gives me a hug. Okay, except for maybe when he waves bye bye to me when I leave, or when he crawls over asking for a bite by saying, “Mama, mama” and smacking his lips open and shut, open and shut.

Thank you for the joy you bring me every single day, my baby boy! I love you forever; I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.

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