The End of an Era, and the Start of Another

I haven't blogged in over a year. I've been a busy momma, and about ready to become much busier. We found out mid-adoption this fall, that we were unexpectedly pregnant with our third son, who is due July 7. This news quickly halted our adoption, as we are limited on bedroom space in our home currently.

I mourned the daughter that we didn't yet know, and that we now have to wait longer to meet. After about 15 weeks of pregnancy my morning sickness subsided, I had come to terms with delaying our adoption process, and I started to get excited to meet my last baby boy.

This has been the strangest pregnancy. I rejoice that I am able to be pregnant, and am blessed enough to get to experience being a momma to THREE unique and amazing little boys. I get to see them as individuals, and to watch them come into their own roles as brothers; there is nothing like it...

... As Keegan would say, "This is a beautiful picture of me, Bennett and Optimus!"

 

 

I get to see my husband grow as a husband and father and it's incredible; and now I get to watch him with ANOTHER boy. It's so exciting. When we first married, I imagined he'd be an incredible father, but just how incredible of a father he's grown into is so far beyond anything I'd imagined. I've felt overwhelmed when I realize that my kids have that actual example of a selfless, Christ-like father. I'm tearing up just typing that. 

 

Is it obvious that they are both absolutely obsessed with that dad of theirs?!



However, this pregnancy has been the most bittersweet experience I can recall in my life. There's something so strange about being twenty eight, and knowing full well that this will be my last biological baby unless by some crazy act of God we have another in the future. This has (by far) been my most uncomfortable pregnancy, but knowing that it is my last has sustained me, and has forced me to try to enjoy the pains and the uncomfortableness and the forced rest.

Somehow, through the bittersweet-ness of it all, I'm finding myself ready; ready to move on from the "newborn" stage of our family, and to actively participate in the raising of our boys into school age and beyond. I'm ready to adopt our daughter someday; and in the meantime we will continue to pray for her, and our prayer will remain constant. That God would protect her and comfort her, and that He would lead her to our family "however and whenever and wherever she is."

I found myself in the hospital overnight last Monday with pre-term contractions. We had fervently prayed for a full term baby this time (Bennett was healthy when he was born at 35 weeks, but he was HARD. The newborn stage lasted much longer, and we were so much more exhausted). After about 7 hours of off and on contractions, they finally subsided and I was kept over night to be monitored. I was sent home at 7:00AM, and my mom was on my doorstep at 7:30 ready to help. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be sitting here almost 36 weeks pregnant had she not come and stayed with us on a twin mattress on the floor of the nursery all week helping. I've learned during this pregnancy to accept help- something I struggled with tremendously during my other two pregnancies. I've learned that accepting help is sometimes the most mature decision you can make. This pregnancy has matured me as a mom, a daughter and a person by forcing me to recognize that so much is out of my control, and I truly can't do it all on my own. I am so thankful for this last surprise pregnancy, and my last surprise baby boy. I cannot wait to meet him, and to smell his baby smell, and to feel him outside of the womb and to recognize his small gestures that I've felt in my belly for what feels like so long.

36 Weeks (tomorrow) pregnant... Now that's a belly... 

"By wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24:3

My sweet husband and boys are really the most rare and beautiful treasures. How crazy that they are mine. Will you pray with us that this baby stays put for at least one more week? We sure would like him to make it to "full term"...

Hopefully now that we are in these final stages, and I am no longer working outside of the home, I can spend a little more time updating the blog and documenting these days that I don't ever want to forget; because time is fleeting and I've learned too quickly that babies don't keep.