Frustrating week.

This week has been frustrating. We found that our buyers financing fell through- they wanted to work with the small bank in the same town where their farm is, that they've banked with forever. That bank ended up being a Freddie Mac Direct lender. Unfortunately because our house is actually a site condo, and it's so undeveloped without having a set date that the association fees would start- Freddie Mac wouldn't lend. They could have gone through another lender- but they were pretty dead set on sticking with that bank.

Luckily we didn't sign anywhere else or put any money down.

I've felt frustrated. I'm trying to move on and re-evaluate our options, and just try to figure out what's best for our family. And that involves hard decisions. It is so frustrating when you feel like your motives and decisions are being attacked or looked down upon, and I'll be honest- if I feel like my motherhood is being attacked I go alllll momma bear on whoever chooses to question it (whether intentional or not).

My son is my life. Every decision I've made over the past year has been made through the lens of my new little family. My family is what I am most proud of. For the first time in a long time, I feel really really good at something: being a mom. I'm not perfect. But I am proud of the woman I've grown into over the past 11 months. I've seen myself become more selfless and change my priorities.

I take my parenting personally. Sometimes I wish I didn't.

I read a great article written by a Rabbi and there was a phenomenal quote:

"He saw that peace was good... so he put up with carrying the load [referring to Ishmael]." Put up with what you can. Let things pass -- they always do. And learn to forget those things that have no significance for the future. Such as quarrels. Simply pretend they never happened. And get on with life."

Ahh.

I am praying over this today.