A Bittersweet Birthday

I've been decently quiet lately... Sorry! I've got some really fun posts coming up... 

We have been up to lots of fun things, but there has been a lot of things going on in my brain lately... especially after the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut.

I'm feeling so bittersweet and broken this Christmas. And that says a lot, because I'm typically a Christmas Nut... However, this year it's different.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm getting older, or because I'm a mom, or if it's the recent heartbreaks in the news, but I'm so uber-emotional this Christmas. I can hardly listen to the Christmas radio stations because if the right song comes on while I'm in the right mood I'll be a bawling mess.

I've finally accepted though, that it's not anti-Christmas to feel melancholy during this season. I'm no Grinch... I wish more people would examine the reality of what Christmas is, and I think more people may adjust from being so incredibly selfish, shallow and greedy to stand in reverence to how this Holiday started, whether or not they believe it in their heart.

The day Keegan was born was the greatest, most incredible day of my life. I've never felt such overwhelming joy or love in a single moment then when I first met him. However, if someone would have told me in that moment that my son was being born to die a completely unjust death in place of someone else- I'm sure that day would have taken on a whole new meaning. It'd be joyful, but most likely, just as equally painful. Every day of his life would change from being a new, exciting day of firsts to have a dark cloud of anxiety for the future.

I'm praying that as we prepare for this Christmas that I can come reverently before the Throne, rejoicing in the fact that He gave His only Son for someone as weak and broken as me. I'm praying that in light of that I can love others endlessly and serve them without expecting in return... I pray that I can feel a deep JOY- not just during Christmas, but year round. Because that sacrifice was made for eternity- not just for the month of December :)

Praying that my friends, family and readers will have an incredible blessed and joyful celebration with loved ones near.

Joy to the World , the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the World, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

 ***NOTE: that IS the infamous Christmas card photo as previously posted about... Hahaha, so ENJOY!