What I wish I would have known...

Today my sister and her husband officially announced that they are expecting their first baby- due in October, and I cannot be more excited for them. It's got me reflecting on our first few days and months with Keegan. There are a number of things that I wish I would have known before having my first baby. I know things are different for everyone, but for me, there are a couple of things that I have definitely learned from that I will change for my next baby…

1.) Enjoy the few weeks where just you and your spouse know you’re expecting. I didn’t give myself that time. I wish I would have. What a personal, exciting thing. How fun to have a secret that only you and your spouse know for just a little bit. Plus, the moment everyone knows you’ll suddenly be looked at in a different light: suddenly fragile- beyond what’s necessary sometimes, too.

2.) It’s okay to say NO. Having a baby is a perfectly good reason to not be social for a while. I thought it was silly to use it as an excuse, so right from the get go we were always dragging Keegan out and about and driving an hour one way and hopping from place to place- either that, or our house was filled with guests. Having a baby is a completely adequate excuse to not do things. I wish I would have said “no” a lot more when Keegan was very little. We would load too much on our plate because we felt obligated- but WE were the ones up all night with a super angry, over stimulated baby. My job as a mom was to protect my son- and over stimulating him was NOT protecting him.

3.) Just cancel cable before you get home from the hospital. Let’s face it. We all watched a lot more T.V. before we had babies. If you don’t have a baby yet- just trust me. You don’t have time. When the baby’s sleeping, you just want to sleep. After 4 months of paying for the big cable package- yet spending most of the night either sleeping, or watching Keegan play on the video monitor, we realized that we were paying that much money in vain. We cancelled it last summer- and we have not even missed it once! Plus, despite how little Keegan is still, I’m weird about not having trashy things on with him around… Cutting out E! and VH1 will make the world of difference when trying to limit trashy T.V.! Ha!

4.) Nursing is ten times harder than any other part of pregnancy and or delivery. Seriously. So painful, frustrating and exhausting. And it won’t always go according to plan. My production was down, so I was hardly nursing. We switched to formula much sooner than I would have liked and I quietly blame myself for why Keegan gets so sick so frequently. But, everyone’s journey is different. I think if I would have known how hard it was really going to be, I may have handled it a little better.

5.) Okay. TMI Alert: You will not poop for at least a week following delivery. HAHA! But so true. That’s one of those things that no one tells you but I haven’t met a soul after the fact that denied it happening to them. UGH. Seriously. Am I secretly writing this so that I will never have another baby again?!?!

6.) Start caring for your skin and using the anti-aging stuff BEFORE the baby arrives. We were so tired, but that exhaustion in conjunction with the lack of care I was showing my skin took its toll. Not only did I look tired, but I started looking much older- not quite like the radiant new mom I imagined... But a few months of consistent face washing, regenerating serum and SPF day cream plus anti-aging night cream (plus Keegan has slept through the night for a while now :) has started erasing the wrinkles that showed up those first few months.

Despite what sounds like some negative things- I look back on them as the sweetest times. Yes, I was exhausted. Yes, I was heartbroken the first time I left him at daycare. Yes, I get sad when I see how much he’s grown. But nothing’s better than when he crawls across the room and stands up, holding onto my shoulders and gives me a hug. Okay, except for maybe when he waves bye bye to me when I leave, or when he crawls over asking for a bite by saying, “Mama, mama” and smacking his lips open and shut, open and shut.

Thank you for the joy you bring me every single day, my baby boy! I love you forever; I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.

Getting back to it!

Well.

Look at that. I'm horrible at blogging again! Ha!

Keegan, I'm sorry. I've been so bad at remembering your monthly posts. We've had a crazy month or so. But Lord willing we're getting back into the swing of life.

I've been praying for peace right where we are in life. I've been working my booty off to try and get this house sold for over a year, and I hate to say, I think as a result I've become so impatient waiting, waiting, waiting that I probably haven't enjoyed every day to the fullest. That being said, that's why I'm really praying for peace. This time with my baby is so precious and I can't get it back. Why stress myself silly over things completely out of my control?!

On some more optimistic notes...

#1) The upside of this stress over the past month: I'm now officially 8lbs BELOW my pre-pregnancy weight! Woot woot! Between working out and nervous energy, plus healthier eating- it's actually seemed to fall off. I have been walking about 2.5-3 miles a day, at least 5 times a week (mostly on the treadmill until it warns up a little more) and have done free weights and crunches. I'm not a super toned girl, but it feels good to get back.

#2) Keegy Peegy is now 11 months old. Whaaaaat?! When did that happen?! Ha- well, specifically it happened on March 25, but still. It's crazy. He's such a riot, too. I can't believe when I was pregnant I really wanted a girl. Now I love having a boy SO much I'm (secretly) hoping for all boys. But, I know I'd be thrilled with whoever God blesses us with!

Keegan is getting close to the 20 lb mark. He's so silly and fun. He's got SIX teeth now. 4 up top, two on the bottom. He looks like such a big kid. He's wearing size 3 diapers (on a side note: am I the only one that think the Huggies Slip On's are much harder to get on a wiggly baby?!), and size 12 Month clothes. He wears size 3 shoes.

The newest skill acquired: waving bye bye! I love it! You are so proud when you do it too.

Also, you are transitioning over to milk. I still give you a couple bottles of formula throughout the day so you can get your vitamins. What a big boy. Now when you drink your bottle or eat, you push me away so you can do it yourself. Well jeez- fine- who needs a mommys help anywhere?!?!

You love to sit in the bathtub while it's still filling up- the faucet amazes you! What fun, huh?!

You bring me such joy my little Buttsy Boy! Thank you for reminding me of what's important, and loving me so sweetly and consistently! Daddy and I love you SO!!!

Frustrating week.

This week has been frustrating. We found that our buyers financing fell through- they wanted to work with the small bank in the same town where their farm is, that they've banked with forever. That bank ended up being a Freddie Mac Direct lender. Unfortunately because our house is actually a site condo, and it's so undeveloped without having a set date that the association fees would start- Freddie Mac wouldn't lend. They could have gone through another lender- but they were pretty dead set on sticking with that bank.

Luckily we didn't sign anywhere else or put any money down.

I've felt frustrated. I'm trying to move on and re-evaluate our options, and just try to figure out what's best for our family. And that involves hard decisions. It is so frustrating when you feel like your motives and decisions are being attacked or looked down upon, and I'll be honest- if I feel like my motherhood is being attacked I go alllll momma bear on whoever chooses to question it (whether intentional or not).

My son is my life. Every decision I've made over the past year has been made through the lens of my new little family. My family is what I am most proud of. For the first time in a long time, I feel really really good at something: being a mom. I'm not perfect. But I am proud of the woman I've grown into over the past 11 months. I've seen myself become more selfless and change my priorities.

I take my parenting personally. Sometimes I wish I didn't.

I read a great article written by a Rabbi and there was a phenomenal quote:

"He saw that peace was good... so he put up with carrying the load [referring to Ishmael]." Put up with what you can. Let things pass -- they always do. And learn to forget those things that have no significance for the future. Such as quarrels. Simply pretend they never happened. And get on with life."

Ahh.

I am praying over this today.

Off the radar...

WOW.

Really, Mandy? Over a month without blogging?!?! What happened, you may be wondering...

Seriously, though. What didn't happen over the past month? Everything that could possibly happen happened!

The week of my last post I had the sickest little baby around. I was home with him but had absolutely no time time to blog. He had a high fever and the Norovirus for almost a week. Luckily, that Friday he woke up fever free. However, that evening after work we were headed on our road trip to ALABAMA with some of my in-laws (so still no time to blog- okay by me! :). It was SO fun. Great walking weather, and a great time with family, some quality time with my husband, shopping and good restaurants. Everything that makes for a great vacation!

What a great week it was. Did you know that Mardi Gras started in Alabama? I didn't. I assumed it was New Orleans- but when I say these people take Mardi Gras seriously, I mean it. It's not dirty the way it is in New Orleans. The whole week leading up to Mardi Gras they had tons of parades- on Mardi Gras itself they had SIX parades. Keegan was the hit of the parade and he got loaded up with goodies and treats. We had a blast.We even got interviewed for the local news... What a joke! That is a story in itself and one of our more embarassing moments- definitely one worth asking about if we haven't shared with you yet! Maybe I'll blog it at a later date.

A BIG thank you to our wonderful hosts! :)

When we got back it was definitely hard to get back into the swing of things. I worked the entire week we got back rather than part time since I had essentially had two weeks off while Keegan was sick. By the time that week was over- we suddenly started getting showing after showing.

Last week we had five showings...

And big announcement on the Karolkiewicz front: WE FINALLY GOT AN OFFER ON OUR HOUSE!!!!

We just got the offer a couple days ago, and we're still in negotiations... but Lord willing we will be moving within a MONTH! It stresses me out a little because although we've had the house on the market for a year (almost) we hadn't taken the steps to get pre-approved for a mortgage or really got serious about looking at houses. We're still not quite sure where or what we are going to do. I'm not good under pressure and I'm scared I would make a rushed decision- what if we buy a house because we're under pressure and then we made a huge mistake and really regretted it?

Surprisingly, I think we may be leaning toward temporarily renting so we can peacefully and leisurely assess all our options and take our time on the next big buying decision. We shall see. Ha! Not just see- but decide. Probably this afternoon. Shhh- I don't want to think about it. It stresses me out :)

I've gotten started on some stuff for Keegan's birthday party. The date is apparently up in the air since we'd have to close and be out of our house the week of Keegy's 1st birthday. Maybe we'd move it back a week or so? I don't know. Good thing I didn't order/make invitations yet, huh?!!

Check out the cute birthday wreath I made for our family... Love it! It was really easy, just time consuming (this was about 300 balloons):

On a totally unrelated note... Check out how Keegan decided to relax while we were at the grocery store the other day:

Haha!!!! Just decided to lounge the whole time. Must've been really relaxed there? What a nut. He seriously is one of the silliest boys I've ever met.

He loves commercials. He will stop whatever he's doing if he hears a catchy jingle come on T.V.

Keegan took a couple steps on his own the other day. HOWEVER... He realized what he did, and I don't think he loved it. Since then, he likes to have limp legs if we try to stand him up and practice walking. What a goof.

He's eating like a super big kid. He eats regular dinner with us, and eats pretty much everything. He doesn't seem to have any food that he dislikes and I am so proud of him for that. We even started giving him fish while we were in Orange Beach- he even likes that!

Just a quick update since I accidentally skipped his ten month post:

• He wears size 3 diaps still, and 
• 12-18 month clothes. 
• He's a size 3 shoe now. 
• He crawls everywhere, but we're practicing walking. 
• He says "Dada" all the time, and is working on "Dogs" and "Mama." 
• He still sleeps like a champ, and 
• now has 4 teeth- they're coming in really randomly though! 

At last week's weight check (just to make sure you were still gaining like a big boy) you were 18lbs 8oz, and 29 1/4 inches long. So 50% for height a 20% for weight. Good thing I'm adding extra formula in your bottles huh?! I think that's helped you grow a little more. Lucky boy with a fast metabolism!

Anyway, life is good. Please keep us in your prayers- for clear direction and discernment as we look to the next couple years ahead! :)

I mean, it IS Valentines Day...

Okay, let's get a little corny.

We're not "celebrating" today because we know that while we're on vacation we're going to go on a date together. So that will technically be our "Valentines" day. However, it actually IS Valentines Day today, and my sweet Keegan Michael has a super high fever, so this Momma's home from work, awaiting a call back from the nurse at the pediatrician's to find out if they think he should come in today. So while I wait, and my very sick baby takes his third nap of the day, I will reflect on the most incredible man I've ever met:

I can't believe I get to call you my husband. I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to have you for the rest of my (ha- or your?!) life. I am so incredibly blessed to be able to rest in the fact that you are on my team. WE are on each others team. I appreciate that you support me, love me unconditionally, and that you are my defender when I need defending.

I appreciate that you didn't take the vows we made to each other lightly. I see how you prioritize me as your wife, and the way that you've continued to strive to become a better man day after day... and you have. When I first met you, I thought, "This guy is incredible. I am going to marry him." I never thought that you could get any more incredible. But you have. And I don't tell you every single day- but it's true.

You are the type of man, husband and father that I can only hope and pray that our son becomes. Thank you for your unconditional love towards both me and Keegan Michael. Thank you for making me laugh all the time.

You're the best. Ever. 

Happy Valentines Day to my absolute best friend.

Four Agreements

Six or seven years ago I read a book written by Don Miguel Ruiz titled The Four Agreements. It's kind of new agey and hippy, but for a sensitive soul like myself, I like to remember these "agreements" occasionally... I wish I took them to heart much more, because day to day interactions would be so much more beneficial if I did... Here's an excerpt from a summary of the book, highlighting the main points:

"The First Agreement - Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using words to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth, of what is good, and what you want. Choose your words carefully in what you say to others, as well as what you say internally to yourself.

The Second Agreement - Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering and worrying. You can simply say, "next".

The Third Agreement - Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. You have to learn to ask for what you want with conviction and confidence. Others cannot read your mind. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

The Fourth Agreement - Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. It will be different from day to day. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

"As you build the habit of the four new agreements, your best will become better than it used to be."

Just figured I might not be the only one who might benefit from this reminder! :)

Lets talk about Mom Jeans....

I'm currently on a mission...

A mission to mildly revamp my closet. Since Keegan was born, I've been so much more conscious about dressing age appropriately. I know what you're thinking... "But, Mandy, you're so young and sooo thin and your boobs are in the exact same place they were two years ago." So sweet of you to say, friend, but oh so wrong.

First of all, I'm not arguing that I'm young. Relatively, I am. But let's compare that with the age group that I HAD been dressing with... Forever 21 anyone? Charlotte Russe? Hollister? Anyone? Can you say SO college-y?! Anyway, I first had this epiphany while lugging a two week old baby in his carseat into Forever 21 while a bunch of 17 and 18 year old girls shopped around me. I proceeded to do a quick loop of the store and quickly leave. I ended at Ann Taylor LOFT and found a few nice, conservative outfits and felt so much more comfortable shopping amongst people at a similar place in life. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those stores, FYI- I just felt like an OLD lady amongst all those young sorority girls, and I'm only 25!

Second, let's talk thin. I'm at my pre-baby weight, and have been for about 4-5 months. I think I can confidently shout that pre-baby weight does NOT mean pre-baby body. Things change. Not just the obvious... But little things, like, although I can fit in my pre-baby jeans, they're just not the SAME... Kind of in the way they fit, but also, kind of in the way I'm much more self conscious about having too low rise jeans so my muffin top hangs over the edge... HA!!! Anyway, I've got some new favorite jeans: trouser jeans! I have a couple pair that I surprisingly found at Target that have great stretch to them and are high enough of a rise so that my muffin top doesn't even cross my mind. Denizen by Levi anyone?! I just found some on the clearance rack at Target for $12! I'll take it! Woot!

Anyway, this mission has proven to be quite a challenge for me. Money is tighter now that I'm part time, and in all honesty, I just can't bring myself to pay a lot of money on clothes. I've had good luck with the Banana Republic outlet, and with Target and Marshall's.

Anyone have any awesome suggestions for some grown up, relatively inexpensive but still hip looking (for a mom-ha!) clothes?!